Break pattern of dating controlling men
Next, visualize what being good enough means to you. Once the lesson is learned we can break the pattern. Once you start giving it to yourself, you too will be able to receive it.
The most important relationship we’ll ever have is the one with ourselves.
If you are dating someone who tries to rush a relationship without giving you time to get to know them properly, slow it down yourself and take control.
If they are not patient with this request, you get out. A soulmate will be kind and patient, while abusers rush to confuse victims and to control.
There is a psychological phenomenon known as the 'confirmation bias,' where we are inclined to discard all evidence that does not align with our views and only keep those that do. "I see this a lot in marriages and dating relationships, where there's always one person who's feeding the needs of the other person.
“I played a role in my abusive marriage; my ex-husband was treating me how I was treating myself.” His anger and how he showed it belonged to him; we are never responsible for someone else’s behavior and how they treat us, ever. Some of these beliefs might serve us, but some might be quite detrimental.
However, we are responsible for how we treat ourselves and how we allow others to treat us. Take an inventory of the top negative beliefs that you have on repeat in your mind.
I looked in the mirror and got real honest so I could change this crazy pattern. When I started giving myself what I was craving, I gained more confidence, got clearer on what I wanted, and started treating myself with respect.
New belief: I am good enough, and happiness is my birthright. We’ve all had experiences where the same thing keeps happening over and over with different people and situations. Now I see I wasn’t comfortable with someone treating me kindly and with respect.
After flipping your negative belief, say the new belief with emotion, and write it down and display it in places where you’ll see it regularly. That’s a message that something needs to be done on part. I wasn’t in the right state of mind to receive this kind of love because I couldn’t give it to myself.